This morning we had about 5 minutes of open eyes. His hands were cold and his fingers were blue yet his breaths and heart were steady.
By midmorning his head was feeling warm to me and I noticed the color came back into his hands and feet.
We decided to do some suctioning to try and clear his throat a little and I also asked for a temperature on him.
I had been avoiding the suctioning as I was afraid it would jut irritate him more, but they had a tiny little tube and his wonderful nurse was very gentle. We waited until after his meds so he was pretty out of it, so it really wasn’t that bad. We cleared out a little of the junk and he has been breathing a little easier since.
His temp however was not so good. The first read was just under 100 so we started him on Tylenol. A few hours later he was burning up again at 104! Every time I touched him he winced. When I tried to pull his blankets back and let him cool he would shiver. His arms and legs were twisted and tight. He got another dose of Tylenol and Motrin this time. We also cooled him with wet cloths on his head and within a half hour his fever was going down.
We are not sure if the fever means he has an infection or if was caused by a change in pressure in his head. Either way we did all we can to keep him comfortable and thankfully it worked.
He has remained fever free since the afternoon but it really took a lot out of him. He is weak and limp and his breathing is slow and low. Today I really feel like he is starting to look sick. Well maybe more than sick, I guess he has looked sick for a while now. Today he looks like he is dying. His color has changed and his face looks different to me now. He still has his chubby cheeks, somehow, yet he also looks thin and frail like I can almost see right through him.
I spent most of the day in bed with him just watching. Savoring every inch of his skin. Every hair, every scar…soaking it all in…every little thing.