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Fear of commitment

January 30, 2013March 30, 2017 keikikai13 Comments

I have reflecting back  on my life with Kai lately.  The things we did together, the choices I made for him.  All along the way letting go of little pieces, bit-by-bit, of what I though life would be.  Becoming a chemo mom, the mom of a child who may not survive, you learn to let… Continue reading Fear of commitment

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Saturday -fever

November 25, 2012November 25, 2012 keikikai53 Comments

This morning we had about 5 minutes of open eyes. His hands were cold and his fingers were blue yet his breaths and heart were steady. By midmorning his head was feeling warm to me and I noticed the color came back into his hands and feet. We decided to do some suctioning to try… Continue reading Saturday -fever

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Sleep -last week

September 7, 2012September 16, 2012 keikikai4 Comments

****This post was written last week a few days after starting Kai’s new pain meds. It was a ruff week and he was sleeping a lot and barely eating which all made us feel the end was near. It was a long hard week and I guess I forgot to post this writing so I… Continue reading Sleep -last week

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Avastin/Irinotecan

April 25, 2012April 25, 2012 keikikai2 Comments

So a decision has been made. Next week Kai will start on Avastin/Irinotecan. This protocol will be an IV infusion every two weeks at the clinic. It is disappointing to be starting all over again, but tonight I am relieved that the decision has been made.  I went into today still not knowing which way… Continue reading Avastin/Irinotecan

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